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Other Infinity Complex

#1


The Narrator Wrote:You awaken in a large cavern. It is silent and very dim. Occasional puddles of water give off soft circles of light, which only help you discern how big the cavern really is. You can also discern that you are in a metal suit with a visor firmly shut over your head. There is a heavy load on your back. Both literally and figuratively. But you don't know why you would be so emotionally burdened.

There is a slight chill directly behind you, at least that's what your suit's sensors are telling you. But then again your sensors are telling you it's cold all around you. They don't seem very trustworthy.

Around you are metal suits, similar to your own, strewn around the stalagmites, apparently devoid of life. You hear water drip slowly. Well, your sensors do, they also sensed the suits on the ground, you're not entirely sure what you are actually seeing. Your suit emits a soft beep, most likely internal, and a small transparent grey box appears on your visor.

"Oxygen levels at 98%."

You know you will die. You do not know why or how you know this. But you simply know.

Another grey box pops into your field of vision, slightly larger than the previous one, it remains blank for a moment. You hear a beep.

"Command?"

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#2
> Examine suit, self, inventory, and surroundings.

> Determine how long your oxygen levels will last.

> Ask suit for directions to nearest oxygenated environment.

> Put on some inspiring music to fight off a sense of impending doom.
Catfish
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#3
> Examine suit, self, inventory, and surroundings.

Suit Wrote:As soon as you think of the command, your suit responds breathlessly. Both literally and figuratively. It's not alive, it's a mechanical suit.

After scouring records, the suit compiles the information and responds accordingly. While you expected an auditory response, the suit merely sends it to you via a telepathic link.

The suit you wear is a standard issue Deep Space Excavation Suit modified for underwater usage by Mobius Corporation. What could have been a thought about an ominously named shady organization passes fleetingly across your unconscious. On the back of the suit are two oxygen tanks, your lifeline, and what appears to be a mechanical pickaxe. The tool is attached via a tube to one of the oxygen tanks, the tube itself is elastic to some extent.

The sensors kindly inform you that the suit is extra large. You blush slightly.

Among your possessions are a suit, a pickaxe, oxygen tanks and your sanity. But you're not sure about the last one.

You suddenly hear an echo, it sounds like the beep your suit gave off moments ago. Only helping to highlight the vastness of the cavern and your own dwindling sense of self. To your left is a gaping hole that is completely dark, where the echo came from, and in front of you is a slightly smaller opening, you can hear the faint rush of water. Behind you is a sleek pod, thick white gas is streaming to the floor and condensing into patches of murky water. These patches don't glow like the natural(?) water found in the cavern, but you can see it because the pod gives off a soothing white-blue light. It's your cryostasis pod, your suit tells you. However it feels a bit small for your stature, it could maybe fit a child suit- err, a child you.

You try to then examine yourself, your suit responds with a kind beep.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave."

You assume some bastard uploaded a pop culture database into your suit's mainframe. Or your name could be Dave, but that's a highly aged and colloquial name for something living in your age.

> Determine how long your oxygen levels will last.

Suit Wrote:Another beep is emitted.

"Oxygen levels are at 98%"

You know you wi-

"Current calculations estimate oxygen will last for ZXXZCXCZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzz..."

The loud din of static fills your head, you clutch it in pain. Well, you clutch your helmet. What your sensors tell you is a helmet, anyway. There's something amiss with the chronological calculation unit, probably.

> Ask suit for directions to nearest oxygenated environment.

Suit Wrote:"Recent astronomical reports suggest nearest oxygenated environment is the planet Apeiros."

You smile.

"Estimated distance is 69 light years. With a Mobius issued mining rig, travel time is approximately 752 years."

You frown.

> Put on some inspiring music to fight off a sense of impending doom.

Suit Wrote:The suit begins playing the Nyancat theme, a classic from the long past twenty-first century. You were told bedtime stories of how it warded off ancient evils in the time of adversity. It always soothed you to hear about Nyancat, it aged very well, unlike the some other songs from that era. It never soothed you to imagine the ancient evils, however.

Your suit beeps.

"Sense of Impending Doom -1"
"Current Sense of Impending Doom is at 574/Graham's Number."

That reminds you of the times in human history where Graham's Number was still unknown. You almost laugh. It makes such an effective scale now. The upper value is a bit too long to display on your visor, of course.

Inventory:
1x Mobius Brand Hypertunneling Pickaxe
1x Deep Space Excavation Suit Nautical Class
2x Oxygen Tanks at almost full capacity
1x Sanity (Perishable)

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#4
> Attempt to determine purpose in this area. Some sort of mining operation?

> Navigate to the smaller opening, and looking for the source of the rushing water sound.
Catfish
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#5
> Ask suit if there is a practical way to create breathable air in this environment.
Δ
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#6
> Attempt to determine purpose in this area. Some sort of mining operation?

Suit Wrote:You begin to recall that you are indeed a miner, in the crudest sense. In reality you are a High Class, Academy of Excellence Qualified and Interstellar Council Approved Deep Space Exploration and Mineral Reclamation Specialist.

So a miner.

You swear that you did not come on this expedition alone, you had a rig as well as several compatriots with similar but slightly less important qualifications. You chance a glance at the suits on the ground. The Corporation had also issued you a rig with which to excavate and collect materials, the pickaxe you are currently saddled with wasn't for heavy duty.

There's also the foggiest sense that your purpose was something suspicious and vague. Just the way the Corporation likes it. You know you are on an alien planet(right?), you haven't yet scanned for lifeforms, well, you aren't sure your sensors have that capability.

From what your well-honed mining senses tell you, a cavern of this magnitude would require more than a standard five man one obligatory woman crew (While the human race had managed to extinguish several hundred species from the face of the universe, radical feminists could not be reasoned with). Without trying to be as obvious as possible, there is something amiss here.

You hear an echo of one of your suit's more recent beeps. It is not unlike a slow heartbeat now.

> Navigate to the smaller opening, and looking for the source of the rushing water sound.

Suit Wrote:You carefully trudge forward, eyes cautiously darting around gaping cave mouths around you and feet cautiously sidestepping any of the suspicious water. You use the sound of rushing water(?) as your guide to the smaller opening. Said opening greets you with a small thump. You may have miscalculated and planted your face on a wall right next to the opening.

Nonetheless, you proceed deeper into the opening. You don't hear an echo as you walk. The rushing grows louder. You stop moving as soon as you hear the rushing right in front of you. Your sensors pick up small patches of moisture growing on your feet. As well was one large moisture patch right around your crotch area.

"Sanitation Facilities currently inactive. Attempting repair. Please refrain from such maneuvers while repairing is going on."

You wait a moment to hear the beep echo. There is none. You begin to feel a bit claustrophobic.

> Ask suit if there is a practical way to create breathable air in this environment.

Suit Wrote:"The most practical method of artificially creating an oxygenated environment is to remove and break open oxygen tanks. Creating a localised cloud of oxygen for 17 seconds."

The suit doesn't appear to be very helpful.

"Sensors indicate there is a Deep Space Excavation Suit approximately ten meters away."

A beep on your screen indicates it is on the other side of the underground river.

"Suit may contain oxygen tanks and/or backup oxygen packs. Haste is recommended. Long range on board life sensors are not functioning, current status of lifeform is undetermined."

Before you make any decision, the suit kindly adds.

"Oxygen levels are at 97%"

Inventory:
1x Mobius Brand Hypertunneling Pickaxe
1x Deep Space Excavation Suit Nautical Class (Slightly Damp)
2x Oxygen Tanks at almost full capacity
1x Sanity (Perishable)
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#7
> Name suit HAL
> Ask HAL if its capabilities will allow you to cross the river safely
> If yes, go across river and find the other suit
Δ
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#8
> Name suit HAL

Suit Wrote:You arbitrarily name your suit HAL. The suit responds with a beep, acknowledging that it has been christened HAL.

You have a sinking feeling that you have done something horribly wrong.

You also feel a bit cliched now.

> Ask HAL if its capabilities will allow you to cross the river safely

HAL Wrote:You hear clunking somewhere within HAL for a moment. Well, within you. Both literally and figuratively, you gulped as you named your suit. You've grown quite attached. Both literally and figuratively. You're not sure what that means.

"Scanners report substance is of unknown composition, danger is minimal as contact has already been made and no harmful side effects have occurred as of yet. Nautical Class suits have a 70% chance of withstanding alien substances found in this sector of space, given past records."

You question HAL's honesty circuits as soon as you hear (well, not hear, it is a telepathic link) "as of yet". The outside of your suit is growing fretfully moist, and the inside may soon follow.

> If yes, go across river and find the other suit

HAL Wrote:You grudgingly trudge through the river of unclassified liquid. It goes up to your knees and is piercingly cold. However, HAL can withstand it and you emerge on the other side unscathed. Well, physically unscathed. HAL hadn't calculated the mental ramifications of walking through the bitingly cold water. He couldn't, of course, since suits don't have emotion. Your half soggy form is shivering from mental chills. Maybe it's your mind, maybe it's a side effect. The as of yet period wasn't clearly stated.

Right in front of the river lies a suit similar to your own, it is a deep red colour. Like that of blood, but not blood, because that would be ominous, and also moist. From the light given off by the river, you can tell that there are two large oxygen tanks sturdily fixed on the back of the suit. You're not sure if they're full or not, and you can't tell as one of the suit's legs is pinned under a stalactite that must have fallen at some point. You could attempt to dislodge it with something. A little ways to the left of the suit is what appears to be a box.

The little alcove ends here, as right behind the suit is a large curved wall of rough rock. Or whatever this cavern is made of. The only paths are to follow the river downstream, upstream or return to where you originally were and go into the larger cave.

HAL beeps again with an oxygen reading, but you are too busy to notice it. The carvings on the wall attract your attention, you can't see them clearly without a proper light source.

As if HAL noticed your lack of attention, he repeats the beep and the reading. Albeit in a slightly louder tone.

"Oxygen levels at 95%"

Inventory:
1x Mobius Brand Hypertunneling Pickaxe
1x Deep Space Excavation Suit Nautical Class (Slightly Damp)
2x Oxygen Tanks at almost full capacity
1x Sanity (Perishable)
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#9
> Perform all following commands while dancing a small jig in an attempt to stay warm.

> Approach red suit carefully, just in case of zombies.

> If safe/possible to do so, retrieve oxygen tanks for your own use. Check their oxygen levels.

> Examine small box. If you find a light source within, use it to observe the carvings.
Catfish
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#10
> Work out whether you will save oxygen if you set your suit to Power Saver mode

> Work out whether you need oxygen to respirate or just for your equipment

> Hallucinate a pumpkin fantasy-land if it ever gets too tough

> Scan for lifeforms

> If you can't scan for lifeforms with your suit, send out a telepathic pulse of "Sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that" and listen to the inevitable face-palms of any living being who has used a suit of a type at all similar to yours
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Inventor of the Shoop smiley
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#11
> See if the suit has a connection to the internet.

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Catfish
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#12
> Perform all following commands while dancing a small jig in an attempt to stay warm.

HAL Wrote:You prepare your best Johnny Bravo impression. HAL kindly shuts off the Nyancat theme in your head.

You realize it is surprisingly quiet.

> Approach red suit carefully, just in case of zombies.

HAL Wrote:You shimmy on over to the red suit with great caution. This is hard to accomplish. You assume that if a zombie is held within the suit, it would be of the parasitic kind, as nothing would survive down here. Well, except you. But that's still up for debate. In any case, parasitic zombies in this sector are usually fungi based, and only respond to light. This one has not moved towards the river in the time you have been in front of it. So it is safe to assume it is not a zombie. Might be something else though.

> If safe/possible to do so, retrieve oxygen tanks for your own use. Check their oxygen levels.

HAL Wrote:You try to pry the oxygen tanks from the red suit. Said suit is surprisingly warm. You're not sure if it's because there might be a person inside or if HAL is stimulating the warmth of human contact with the red suit. Nevertheless, you feel physical attraction and nausea.

The tanks are attached to the back of the suit. The suit's left leg has been pinned to the ground by the side of a wayward stalactite. You can't roll it over as such to either steal or inspect the oxygen tanks. The intruding stalactite, however, seems breakable.

> Examine small box. If you find a light source within, use it to observe the carvings.

HAL Wrote:You shimmy over to the small box, mixing in a bit of your famous jazz hands along the way. The box is quite small, and you must crouch to inspect it, leaving your backside vulnerable. Once you've finished groping the box to find the lid, and finding it, of course. You wouldn't grope a box for pleasure. You try to pry it open, but to no avail. As your finger slides across the thin metallic surface, a small hole suggests it is one of those old lock and key boxes.

> Work out whether you will save oxygen if you set your suit to Power Saver mode

HAL Wrote:"Power Saver mode will decrease oxygen usage by 93%"

Good, you'll need to conserve oxygen. You're probably going to be down here for a while.

"Power Saver mode will shut off on board life support system, sanitation facilities (heavily damaged), anti-depressant hormones (immunity developed due to overuse) and oxygen relay."

The words heavily damaged linger on in your head. It's probably what your psyche will be like after this. Well, if you survive.

> Work out whether you need oxygen to respirate or just for your equipment

HAL Wrote:You're not entirely sure how to check this without shutting off the oxygen relay. Of course, that would kill you. And you don't want that, yet. The only other option is to activate(?) your pickaxe. Which you promptly do.

The axe's colouring matches your suit, though it might be the dark masking some horrible colour scheme, and its hilt is laden with several buttons. There is a green one, a red one and another red one with the symbol of fire on it. One of these buttons must do something.

> Hallucinate a pumpkin fantasy-land if it ever gets too tough

HAL Wrote:You don't know what a pumpkin is. Probably some primitive fruit or meat product from derelict-Earth.

> Scan for lifeforms

HAL Wrote:"Cannot comply, on board carbon based life form scanners are not installed. Silicon based life form scanners detect nothing in the immediate vicinity."

That was mildly reassuring. At least a plastic man eater won't rip your face off if you don't move, for now.

> If you can't scan for lifeforms with your suit, send out a telepathic pulse of "Sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that" and listen to the inevitable face-palms of any living being who has used a suit of a type at all similar to yours.

HAL Wrote:You instruct HAL to do so.

"Sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."

Apparently, you are the only one with a telepathic link to your suit. That or everyone is dead. But you like to think positively until the anti-depressants stop working.

You obligingly facepalm.

> See if the suit has a connection to the internet.

HAL Wrote:The internet, much like whatever a pump-kin is, is a defunct system utilized by the neanderthals inhabiting derelict-Earth. While the rest of the galaxy calls them neanderthals, they refer to themselves as "hipsters".

After mass colonization of space, the internet was abandoned by most of humanity in favour of the ultranet, a communications network which had interplanetary capabilities and united several solar systems, traffic to websites with pictures of cats boomed. You cannot connect to either the internet or the ultranet. Deep space indeed.

"Oxygen levels are at 92%"

Inventory:
1x Mobius Brand Hypertunneling Pickaxe (Currently equipped)
1x Deep Space Excavation Suit Nautical Class (Slightly Damp)
2x Oxygen Tanks at almost full capacity
1x Sanity (Perishable)
1x Small box (Locked)
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#13
> Press the green button on your pickaxe.
> Press the red button.
> Press the button with fire on it while holding the pickaxe at a safe distance.
> Press the green and red buttons simultaneously.
Δ
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#14
> Press the green button on your pickaxe.

HAL Wrote:You push the green button on your pickaxe. Nothing happens. Maybe it's already on green button mode?

> Press the red button.

HAL Wrote:Feeling that the verdant button has staged a coup by itself, you tap its comrade, the red button. You hear mechanical clunks, oddly comforting against the unnerving rush of the water. The pick's head fold neatly down, both the spikes parallel to the hilt. Did you just turn your pickaxe...off?

> Press the button with fire on it while holding the pickaxe at a safe distance.

HAL Wrote:As with most things that have a flame on it, you exercise caution in wielding it. The pickaxe is now arm's length away from you. You tap the button in the darkness, shamefully missing several times. The weight on your back suddenly gets lighter. Not the figurative one, no, that's going strong. The pipe attached to the bottom of the pickaxe springs to life, its still elastic but now less so. The pick explodes, and you die. Took awhile.

No, no. You are just in shock from witnessing fire coming out of the top of the pickaxe, emerging from a hole that the head left when you collapsed it. This is what the cavemen of millenia past must have felt when they discovered fire, or when the vegetarians discovered beefplant. You wish you had some beefplant to cook now.

The still flame illuminatees the alcove you are in. The red suit on the ground is still red, and unmoving (Well, there is a fallen stalactite pinning it down). The river is still a river, and constantly moving. But now you can clearly discern the markings on the wall. They're quite crude, but you can tell they're made from blood, they are ominous and moist. markings read:

"88"

You hear a beep.

"Oxygen levels are at 88%"


> Press the green and red buttons simultaneously.

HAL Wrote:You hurriedly press the other buttons on the pickaxe. Realizing fire actually takes up your oxygen supply. You truly feel like a caveman now. On pressing the two buttons, the rushing air in the tube stops and the heads realign themselves. It is now a pickaxe again, and not a torch. From what the short burst of light showed you, there were noticeable cracks in the stalactite. You look at your pickaxe again, it is warm.

Inventory:
1x Mobius Brand Hypertunneling Pickaxe/Torch (Currently equipped, Fascinating!)
1x Deep Space Excavation Suit Nautical Class (Slightly Less Damp)
2x Oxygen Tanks at near enough to full capacity as to not cause alarm
1x Sanity (Perishable)
1x Small box (Locked)
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#15
> Question how your pickaxe creates fire with a lack of oxygen in which to fuel it.

> Question why Deenaa can't read. Silly woman.

> Stop faffing around and take your super powerful pickaxe to that stalactite already. Be careful not to damage the oxygen tanks!

> Retrieve oxygen tanks, keeping your pickaxe on hand in case this body decides to be a zombie because YOU SHOULD NOT TRUST RANDOM DEAD BODIES WITH FULL (?) OXYGEN TANKS gdi

> If you successfully retrieve the tanks, then check their supply of oxygen!
Catfish
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#16
> Question how your pickaxe creates fire with a lack of oxygen in which to fuel it.

HAL Wrote:You question, but you do not queston. The question itself does not exist, but then how do you know of it? This question can only not exist if it did exist, this brings into the question the nature of the question. You held the question close to you heart, and it questioned itself in allowing such a feat. You trusted the question to exist, to be constant in its query the nature of its infinity. But the question did not abide, it does not abdie to such rules. The question is a mere shadow of its former self, a murky haze is left behind and you question why you are still standing in the remnants of the question. Why can you not remove yourself from the question? It brought you peace once, to question the very nature of the question, but now it does not. It only beckon rage and hatred for the questions the questions' leaving brought upon you. You can no longer question in peace, you can no longer move forward. And so you do not question this ultimatum. And you do not progress.



You realize you have a lot of free time.


> Question why Deenaa can't read. Silly woman.

HAL Wrote:You do not know who this Deenaa is, or how you even acknowledged her existence in the first place, but you do know she is illiterate. In all likelihood she is a neanderthal from derelict Earth, or the derelict Moon or derelict Mars. Nonetheless, literacy is incredibly easy to acquire in this century. You remember first being injected with Shakespeare. Though, the best time you had was when you were given 39 doses of Terry Pratchett simultaneously. It was magical.


> Stop faffing around and take your super powerful pickaxe to that stalactite already. Be careful not to damage the oxygen tanks!

HAL Wrote:You raise your arms above your head, pickaxe in hand, and refrain from releasing a battle-cry. The consequences of such a loud sound may be immeasurable. You glance at the stalactite.

The pickaxe is brought down upon the stalactite, which obligingly cracks. You cringe, because it sounds like bone. But it's not. It's rock. You double check to see if the oxygen tanks are damaged. They are not.


> Retrieve oxygen tanks, keeping your pickaxe on hand in case this body decides to be a zombie because YOU SHOULD NOT TRUST RANDOM DEAD BODIES WITH FULL (?) OXYGEN TANKS gdi
> If you successfully retrieve the tanks, then check their supply of oxygen!


HAL Wrote:You aren't entirely sure the body is dead. You were asleep a while ago, and you think you would have looked like that too. Asleep, not dead. But because you don't want another damp patch forming on your crotch area you firmly grasp the pickaxe.

You crouch low, close enough to hear the river's rushing and the lack of breathing from the suit. You are entirely sure the body is dead. No signs of fungi, however, reassure you that there is most likely no zombie. Probably.

You unclasp the oxygen tanks and drag them out onto the riverbank, close enough to see the gauges. Of course, HAL had already scanned them during the tedious dragging process and your efforts are made redundant.

"External oxygen tanks are at 96% capacity, in total."

Strange. Something else must have ended this fellow if his oxygen levels are so high. Your grip around the pickaxe tightens.

You glance at the suit for a moment, and notice several items of possible interest. You hear another beep.

"Adjacent suit holds multiple items, accessing inventory feed.

...

Red Suit Inventory:
1x Suspicious Key
1x Remains of a Mobius Brand Hypertunneling Pickaxe/Torch
2x Box of Explosive Joe's Dyna-Might! Brand Dynamite
1x Remote Detonator
1x Red Shirt
1x Pants
1x Sanity"


You question what the red suit could have been doing with pants. They are a highly illegal product that is not sold or produced anywhere. Scientists in the twenty-third century determined that pants were too constraining and unprotective. The twenty-third century was also host to the pan-galactic Denim Wars. These wars began after Dr. Applebottoms discovered denim material could be used to fuel intergalactic warships. The final Denim war was anti-climactic in the way that the denim residue had been subject to radiation and caused all the warships to almost simultaneously combust. Historians said it was a nice fireworks display. Due to the Galactic Commitee's gross overreaction, pants were banned. Fashion suffered a trend meltdown, voyeurism boomed.

You pick up the Red Suit's sanity, just in case.

Inventory:
1x Mobius Brand Hypertunneling Pickaxe/Torch (Currently equipped, Fascinating!)
1x Deep Space Excavation Suit Nautical Class (Slightly Less Damp)
2x Oxygen Tanks at near enough to full capacity as to not cause alarm
2x Oxygen Tanks at almost full capacity (Looted from a corpse, like it should be)
2x Sanity (Perishable)
1x Small box (Locked)
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#17
> Pick up the key, dynamite, denonator, and pants. Avoid the red shirt at all costs.

> Store the spare oxygen tanks in such a way that you can easily retrieve them when your current tanks begin to run low.

> Debate wearing the pants, but be distracted by a horrible flashback of the day you were injected with a Twilight heavy teen youth blend.
Catfish
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#18
> Jump up and down on Red suit to see if making (presumably) a clanging noise attracts any attention

> Be careful of getting attention, you don't want to die! But if it is one of your comrades and your comrade is friendly/not likely to do something not in your best interests from your perspective then wave at him/her.

> Wonder if your suit will flood if you take your current oxygen tanks out to put the others in

> Don't test that!

> Consider the merits of putting the Red Shirt on a bit of rock and carrying it ahead of you on your pickaxe

> Name the rock Steve if you do so

> Attempt to eat Sanity

> Suddenly consider whether the bone-like noise the rock made snapping means that the narrator really is that awful a person and you are inside the mouth of a giant monster who might be pissed about you hitting a toothy nerve-center
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Inventor of the Shoop smiley
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#19
> Pick up the key, dynamite, denonator, and pants. Avoid the red shirt at all costs.

HAL Wrote:You rummage through the belongings of the corpse, like a true roleplayer, and stuff your inventory full of whatever seems useful. You pick up the key, place it next to the locked box. The Dyna-Might! is stored in the dampest place available, your crotchguard. The detonator goes there as well, just don't accidentally press it. You have no clue what a denonator is though. You place the pants upon your head.

Something urges you to not take the shirt, even though it would go well with your pants. You feel your fabulousness decrease exponentially.


> Store the spare oxygen tanks in such a way that you can easily retrieve them when your current tanks begin to run low.

HAL Wrote:You store the tanks in a very ambiguous manner so that no one may discern how they were placed in the location you have placed them in. Nevertheless, they will be easy to retreive, barring immense physical pain. But it does match with the immense mental pain you're feeling.

You still don't feel fabulous.


> Debate wearing the pants, but be distracted by a horrible flashback of the day you were injected with a Twilight heavy teen youth blend.

HAL Wrote:You grab one of the loose pantlegs from atop your head and begin to tug downward. But you stop, as something horrible comes back to you.

You were strapped to a chair. Some hooligans in your neighborsphere were shooting up on unstable twenty-first century fanfiction. You did not succumb to peer pressure, but a baseball bat did the job. Who you thought were your friends laughed at you through their haze of Pokeshipping. One of them, the one you hated the most, let's call her Meyer. Shoved a syringe into your arm. It was a very sparkly syringe. The next thing you know, you were surrounded by vampires and werewolves. But, they weren't scary. Not in the normal sense. You kicked and screamed as the sparkles overcame you. Unlike most cliched situations like this, you do remember what happened afterward.

You will not go there...







There were two holes in the side of your neck.

You put the pants on around to create a sense of security. Pants are very dangerous. You feel rebellious.


> Jump up and down on Red suit to see if making (presumably) a clanging noise attracts any attention

HAL Wrote:Armed in a variety of apparel, ranging from detrimental to mentally scarring, you walk over to the red suit on the ground. You poise yourself in front of it and leap onto it's chest. Then you do it again. Again. And some more.

You hear bones crack underneath and dust unsettling. It's not the only thing feeling unsettled now.


> Be careful of getting attention, you don't want to die! But if it is one of your comrades and your comrade is friendly/not likely to do something not in your best interests from your perspective then wave at him/her.

HAL Wrote:You don't want to die. While you know this, you feel reminding yourself of life goals is important.

The cracking of bones did not attract anyone, or any thing. As far as you can tell.


> Wonder if your suit will flood if you take your current oxygen tanks out to put the others in.

HAL Wrote:Yes it will flood. Actually, all the air will rapidly eject from the suit and you will die. This was in manual. And you were told this on the first day of training. And the last.

You feel stupid.

And you should.


> Don't test that!

HAL Wrote:Don't test that! was Weird Al Yankovic's last single. He was frozen during the twenty-first century as a cultural icon, most icons were. After that single was refrozen by the Galactic Enforcement Unit for testing if pants fit him.


> Consider the merits of putting the Red Shirt on a bit of rock and carrying it ahead of you on your pickaxe.

HAL Wrote:You use the tip of your pickaxe head, facing it upwards, to lift the red shirt out of the red suit's inventory. You exercise extreme caution, as this may very well be what killed him. After strategically positioning it on a rock you heave the now unencumbered pickaxe upwards and jam it into the small rock. Small cracks appear, it will not hold for long. But it appears you have crafted something.

You feel the word crafted is being used in the loosest possible sense.


> Name the rock Steve if you do so

HAL Wrote:You name him Steve. This is done by etching the name into his side. In case the red shirt does work, he can become his own gravestone.


> Attempt to eat Sanity

HAL Wrote:You eat the red suit's sanity. Somewhere on a different plane of existence, a ghost who has having casual conversation with another ghost by the ectoplasm-watercooler screams in agony and attempts to stab his eyes out with a number two pencil. But to no avail, he is a ghost for eternity. Infinitely trapped in the tomb of stabbing one's own eyes out.

You, of course, are perfeectly fine. Well, relatively.


> Suddenly consider whether the bone-like noise the rock made snapping means that the narrator really is that awful a person and you are inside the mouth of a giant monster who might be pissed about you hitting a toothy nerve-center

HAL Wrote:It suddenly dawns on you that this might actually be the case. That would explain the disturbing notwater and vastness of the cavern. Maybe you have stumbled inside a great planetary rockbeast. You've only heard of them in the Square-Enix History book. Possibly the giant cave mouth you saw near the place you woke leads somewhere outside. Rockbeast's insides, barring the gullet, aren't known to cover great distances in a uniform straight line. You feel some hope again.

If you can find a carbon-based lifeform scanner you can test your theory.

"Oxygen levels are at 86%"

Inventory:
1x Mobius Brand Hypertunneling Pickaxe/Torch (Currently equipped, attached to Steve the Wonder-rock)
2x Box of Explosive Joe's Dyna-Might! Brand Dynamite
1x Remote Detonator
1x Pants (Equiped, Fabulousness +1, Rebelliousness +1)
1x Deep Space Excavation Suit Nautical Class (Slightly Less Damp)
2x Oxygen Tanks at near enough to full capacity as to not cause alarm
2x Oxygen Tanks at almost full capacity (Looted from a corpse, like it should be)
1x Sanity (Perishable)
1x Key
1x Small box (Locked)
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#20
> Wonder where you could get a carbon-based lifeform scanner.

> Attempt to breathe more calmly to try and conserve oxygen.

> Ask HAL and Steve what they think of all this mess.

> Maybe back out of the potential mouth of a potential Rockbeast, because uh yeah being eaten would suck. Be sure you have anything from the area that you could possibly need before you do!

> Go and inspect the straight tunnel instead.
Catfish
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