Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Top 5 Best Ways to Make Your Pokémon Game Run More Challenging

Sunday, April 19th, 2015


Or: Pokémon Ragequit Version.

It’s the same basic formula: get your starter, defeat your rival(s), blaze through gym leaders, fight a villainous team (or two), become the Champion. As each generation passes, beating the game’s main storyline becomes easier and easier, with little buffs to items and nerfs to opponents making a game less difficult to finish than the last. While many players appreciate the less frustrating gameplay, many other players are stuck uttering the same wish while they lazily go through the credits of the latest game: “Man, I wish that was more of a challenge.”

Fortunately, a fandom as big as Pokémon is bound to have many creative minds, and this creativity has seeped into the very way we play these games. Many players have instilled specific rulesets to their playthroughs that make it much harder, resulting into a more rewarding experience.

This list will run through five of the best rulesets that make your game runs more challenging. It will also explore variations of these Challenge rulesets, and ways to make them easier or harder.

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Top Five Silliest NPC Roadblocks

Sunday, December 7th, 2014

The Pokémon games are full of NPC roadblocks. These are cases when a non-playable character will stand in your way, preventing you from continuing until you complete a different objective. For example, every game has at least one person standing by the entrance to the next route who won’t let you take a step further until you take on that Gym and win. Other times, people are standing in front of buildings, and demand that you go elsewhere first before they mysteriously disappear down the nearest plot hole and allow you to continue your quest.

But some of the cases of this in Pokémon are just plain weird or silly. Here is a sample of what I feel are the five most notable of these.
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Top 10 Most Confusing English Pokémon Name Pronunciations

Sunday, November 30th, 2014

[Image: 98.png]
Warning: This list may make you feel… /KRAH-bee/.

It may not be evident, but there’s a lot of work that goes into giving a species of Pokémon a name. The name of a Pokémon usually features a play on one or two words which refer to either the real-life basis of the Pokémon or an attribute linked to the Pokémon. This leads to many interesting wordplays, word corruptions, and portmanteaus, such as Exeggcute (execute + egg), Whismur (whisper + murmur), and Serperior (serpent + superior). But with these wordplays that would make any linguist proud comes a whole set of pronunciations that would make any linguist cringe, and the latter is what this article will tackle.

Several Pokémon names have easy pronunciations, due to either a very clear portmanteau (Gogoat = go + goat), an easy-to-follow spelling (Eevee = /ee/ + /vee/), or an easily recognizable word corruption (Wynaut = why not?). Unfortunately, the converse is also true, for there are many confusing, questionable, and at times nonsensical Pokémon name pronunciations. A quick Google search would show you entire threads and conversations dedicated to figuring out whether or not this is a long or short I, or whether that C is pronounced like a K or an S.

This article aims to list the 10 English Pokémon names that always find themselves at the end of the question, “How do you pronounce _________?” The most canon sources for the “proper” pronunciations found in this article come from the Pokédex 3D Pro app (for the first five generations) and the announcer of Pokémon Battle Revolution (for the first four generations), with the sixth-generation Pokémon only having the English anime dub as a reference. But those three sources don’t always agree with each other, which shows that maybe the different translators are as confused as we are.

So don’t feel bad if you fall victim to the ten mispronunciations you’ll find here. Chances are, you’re part of a very, very large group.
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The Coffee Guy’s Rants: Remakes, Get Off My Lawn

Saturday, October 25th, 2014

Cover your ears, for the famed Coffee Guy from Viridian City has a rant to share!

BY GUM, I SAY THERE’S TOO MANY OF THESE REMAKES THESE DAYS! I CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHY, BUT IT SEEMS WE’RE TO REVISIT THIS HOENN PLACE AGAIN! AND I FOR ONE COULD NOT BE MORE OUTRAGED ABOUT THIS! WHY ARE YOU ALL FLOCKING TO BUY THESE NEW GAMES IS BEYOND ME. WHERE IS THE APPEAL? DID EVERYONE’S GAMES BREAK AGAIN? AND WHY CAN’T WE GO CHECK OUT A NEW PLACE INSTEAD?

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From RSE to ORAS – Top Ten Wanted Improvements

Monday, June 30th, 2014

A lot of people got terribly excited when Game Freak finally went and announced remakes to the Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald games. We’ll be able to revisit Hoenn in all its watery, tropical glory on the 3DS with Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire. But naturally, even in remakes there will be changes and improvements. FRLG embraced the running shoes, and added in the Sevii Islands. HGSS arguably went further in implementing little changes, additions and improvements – from having Pokémon follow you, to adding in a Safari Zone and Gym Leader rematches. 

And we can expect new additions in ORAS as well. We already know that the other 3rd gen starters get Mega Forms, as does Sableye. But what things in RSE will carry over to the remakes, and how will they change? This list are some of the things I’d like to see improved upon in the remakes, and why. Note that this list only involves aspects that were part of RSE; while things like Amie were great fun, they’re not being considered here. There’s also a follow-up article which examines which of these did improve, and more.

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Top 10 Most Annoying NPCs

Monday, June 9th, 2014
Pokémon has reached its 6th generation, and with 22 mainstream games alone, there’s a wide variety of characters. We’ve gotten really cool NPC’s, like Lance and Cynthia. We’ve been introduced to truly kind NPC’s, like Roark or Lanette. We’ve seen some really interesting recurring characters, like Bill and Red. But, of course, as far as characters go, we’ve also seen some really annoying ones.

Being annoying is not always a bad thing. After all, there are annoying people in real life, too, so it can add a layer of realism. Some of the annoying characters in Pokémon are annoying in this way, intentionally and for a good reason, and we love them for it. Who didn’t love beating Silver time after time, as he continued to be a total jerk? So, this list is not about those characters.

This list is dedicated to those NPC’s who drive us nuts, and not in a good way. They shake us away from the game, make us irritated, make us dread the next time we may have to interact with them in the game. In some ways, their presence – or at least their behavior – almost takes away from the experience. But hey, at least it makes for good stories later!

Here’s my top list of 10 Most Annoying NPCs in the world of Pokémon.

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Gym Reviews: Johto

Sunday, May 4th, 2014

Hello, readers. My name’s Bill, and I’ve been running the operations of Brick ‘n’ Break for the last few years. And we’re the best of the best. Well, the best available anyways. That’s what our logo says after all.

You may have read my recount of how we made all those Gyms we constructed in Kanto. The Gym Leaders supply the plans, and we make it happen, no matter how wacky or insipid the idea. This time, I’ll take you through our creations within the Johto region.
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Top 10 Most Physics-Breaking Pokémon

Monday, January 20th, 2014

Pokémon is, essentially, scifi. Even though the world of Pokémon is teeming with what appears to be magical creatures with supernatural powers, it’s almost always explained by science. Pokéballs, computer boxes, Pokédexes, and so on are all scifi technology that shows us how much more advanced this world really is in terms of science. And, looking at most Pokémon, even the otherwise magical stuff makes a lot of sense. There’s electricity-generating rodents, self-illuminating fish, fast-flying birds, fire-breathing dogs… All a bit of a stretch, but none of them entirely unbelievable. Pokédex entries especially help us understand the scientific basis behind a Pokémon.

Well, most of the time anyway.

Some Pokédex entries… Well, they bring up more questions than they answer, and end up breaking physics more than explaining anything. Where some Pokémon are plausible, or even sound like they might exist in the real world, some of them beat science up until it crawls whimpering into a corner to cry.

Here are the ten worst offenders in that category.
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Gym Reviews: Kanto

Monday, November 4th, 2013

Hello, readers. My name’s Bill, and I’ve been running the operations of the construction company Brick ‘n’ Break for the last few years. And we’re the best of the best. Well, the best available anyways. The Leagues seem to think we’re the best, so that’s what counts.

You see, we’re the crew responsible for setting up those Gym puzzles you Trainers have to navigate to get to that Gym Leader. Not that we came up with the layout ideas. No, that’s up to those fickle Gym Leaders. But we work around their requests and make a new creation every few years or so for them, on request of the Leagues. And let me tell you, if you’re looking for a career in construction work, any work sanctioned by the League works out very well on the financial side. Maybe not so much in health cover, but those are the risks that come with the job!

This here’s my own personal recount on what we did for each of the Gyms, starting with the Kantonian Gyms. For a number of these I talk about two designs, as the Leagues request we perform maintenance and sometimes entire updates every so often if the Gym Leaders want something new. Some say that’s hardly cost effective, but there’s some reasons for that. An older Gym design gets around after a while, and trainers can just go look it up on the internet and walk straight in with a plan in place. And Gym Leaders hate that sort of thing.

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Pokémon Places – Lost in Viridian Forest

Sunday, October 6th, 2013

Let’s talk of the place where the golden era of Pokémon started – Kanto. You’ve been to Viridian City and Pewter City, I suppose? Then you’ll know exactly how annoying Viridian Forest could get had you not trained your Pokémon. Have you perhaps tried to go back there… to get a Pikachu to beat Misty? Let’s rush back to Viridian City… oh the horror, we can’t go back into Mt. Moon again, that ledge is blocking your way! Anyway, let’s look deep into the world of the Very Damned Forest. Did I get that wrong? Fine, Viridian Forest.

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Gotta Snag’em All: The Making of the Snag Machine

Friday, September 27th, 2013

This is Scientist Richard for Team Snagem. I’ve been hired by the company to create some sort of “Snag Device”. Its purpose will be to steal Pokemon from other trainers, by changing a PokeBall into a SnagBall. This will be a huge technical undertaking. Since PokeBalls were invented by Kurt from Azalea Town, they’ve been designed to catch only wild Pokemon. I’ve decided to either create some sort of machine to convert PokeBalls, or  an entirely new ball. The latter option seems a much better one, as it’ll be much easier to do. I’ll just have to make a few modifications to a PokeBall, as opposed to making an entire machine. Here is a short catalogued analysis of my findings.

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Top Ten Most Annoying Pokemon of All Time (until generation six)!

Saturday, September 14th, 2013

Just like the title says, we will be collecting some of the most annoying pokemon and attempting to organize them into some sort of top ten. After some extensive research and lots of polling, I found a wide range of pokemon excelling in the art of making people rip their hair out. After narrowing them down, we have our list. These pokemon are the best of the best. Hundreds of screams, tears, and broken consoles are left behind in their wake. Brace yourselves, for the most annoying pokemon of all time are near. Please remember that this list is simply one person’s opinion and no matter how right and perfect I seem to be, individual lists will vary.

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The Top 5 Worst Ways to Advertise your Fanfic

Friday, August 30th, 2013

In some ways, the life of a fanfiction author is easy these days. The internet makes it quite simple to share your creations, and it’s just as simple for others to respond to your stuff with their feedback. Many sites even let us know the page view count, so we know just how many people were interested enough to click on the story’s title. Sharing is, in a nutshell, very easy.

The downside of this, of course, is that there are a lot of fanfics out there. Some of them are very polished, some of them not all that much so. Some of them are incredibly popular, some are practically void of all attention. Every writer wants to get at least some attention, and it can be quite difficult to distinguish yourself from the mass. So, you do what real world authors have to do to get attention. You have to advertise.

There’s many ways to go about advertising your creations – this applies to fanfics as well as art, let’s plays, fan music, AMV’s, what have you. Some of them are good and effective. Some of them aren’t.

Here are a few that pop up every now and then, but should never be used by anyone.
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The Name Rater: Lotad/Lombre/Ludicolo

Saturday, July 13th, 2013

Welcome! Here I am, the… Name Rater. Yes, that’s who I am, I think.

Before I do these name rates, I wish to clarify that I was NOT talking to jars of pickles, and certainly not because I am lonely! No, I was just… reading their nutritional content labels out loud, is all.

Now then! The Lotad line? Let’s do this.

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Top 10 members of villainous Teams

Wednesday, June 26th, 2013

Just so you know, avid readers, there will be spoilers in this article for pretty much everything Pokemon related. You have been warned.

Hello, all you little FIGHTAMANIACS! I’m back for another look at the wonderful world of Pokemon. Now, if you know me, you know I’m an avid supporter of Teams Rocket, Magma, Aqua, Snagem, Galactic and Plasma. I always feel bad when I mow down a grunt for a Team I love, so I thought I’d make up for it by counting down the top ten members of villainous teams. Keep it in mind when you read this that I’m not sticking to one canon. Characters from the anime, games, and manga are present on this list. I didn’t really have a specific criteria when I made this list. As such, the characters aren’t here because they all have varying levels of a certain quality, it’s mostly just based off of opinion.

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